Dyspareunia – painful intercourse – is a problem that needs to be dealt with more specifically because of the physical and emotional stresses involved. Here is given some insight into the possible ways that might help you to overcome or cope with this particular problem.

When a woman does not want her partner to know she suffers from dyspareunia, she may try to ‘put up with it’ for a number of reasons. Some women may feel they would be letting their partners down while others fear that their partner may leave them for someone else. For those who try to keep dyspareunia a secret from their partner, there is the possibility that when you try to avoid intercourse because of the pain, he is going to interpret this as rejection. For a woman wanting to become pregnant, avoiding sexual intercourse because of the pain is not going to help so she may pretend that everything is normal.

Equally, there may be problems when your partner is aware of dyspareunia. He may try to avoid sex so that he does not hurt you and this in turn may leave you feeling confused – particularly if your partner does not say why he is avoiding sex.

On an emotional level, it can destroy your self image – if you let it. The combination of a chronic illness and sexual difficulties is a tough hurdle to overcome. Add to this a decrease in libido (sometimes caused by the hormonal treatment) and the problem of infertility and you can appreciate why this condition can cause so much heartache.

Dyspareunia can also be a result of other physical problems. Hormonal treatment can result in a dry vagina because of a lack of oestrogen and it may cause thrush which should be treated by your doctor. Some women may experience vaginismus which is an involuntary painful spasm of the vaginal muscles as a result of anticipated pain.

In order to overcome dyspareunia you must communicate! Talk to your partner and share your feelings. Work together and be honest with each other. Help your partner to understand how the pain affects you. Understand that he has feelings and needs love and attention as well.

Relax and give yourselves time. Intercourse may be less painful if you take the time to become fully aroused beforehand. Deep penetration usually causes the most pain so experiment with different positions until you find one that is more comfortable.

Explore other satisfying sexual activities that do not involve penetration. Show affection to each other in different ways such as kissing, hugging, masturbation and massage.

If you are having difficulty coping with the many emotional and physical problems associated with dyspareunia do not feel too embarrassed to seek professional advice. Your gynecologist or GP should be able to suggest appropriate sources of support.

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Aspartame

Aspartame, once thought to be the perfect sweetener, is now in serious doubt. People have reported behavioral changes from the use of aspartame and it may pose serious cancer risks. Used as an artificial sweetener in drink mixes, gelatine desserts and other foods.

Brominated Vegetable Oil (BVO)

There is cause for concern with BVO. Gives the cloudy appearance to citrus-flavoured soft drinks and also used as an emulsifier.

Butylated Hydroxyanisole (BHA)

BHA retards rancidity in fats, oils and foods that contain oil. While most studies indicate it is safe, it is known to cause cancer in animals. Safer substitutes are available.

Butylated Hydroxytoluene (BHT)

BHT retards rancidity in oils. May possibly be cancer causing, avoid where possible. Found in cereals, chewing gum, potato chips and oils.

Caffeine

Caffeine occurs naturally in coffee and tea but it is also added to some well-known soft drinks. It may cause miscarriages or birth defects and should be avoided by pregnant women. It also keeps many people from sleeping and may lead to fibrocystic breast disease.

Saccharin

A synthetic sweetener used in diet products. In 1977, the United States FDA proposed that saccharin be banned on evidence that it causes cancer. It was gradually replaced by aspartame.

Sodium Nitrite (Code No. 251) and Potassium Nitrite (Code No. 261)

Sodium and potassium nitrites can lead to the formation of cancer-causing chemicals called nitrosamines, particularly in fried bacon. Has also been linked to asthma, headaches, destruction of red blood cells, breathing problems. Found in preserved and manufactured meats, bacon, ham, frankfurters, luncheon meats, smoked fish and corned beef.

Sulphur Dioxide (Code No. 220) and Sodium Bisulphite (Code No. 221)

Sulphating agents prevent discoloration (dried fruit, shrimp, dried, fried and frozen potatoes, beer, gelatine, cordials, wine etc.). They destroy vitamin Bl, vitamin A and may cause headaches, backaches, asthma, hyperactivity, bronchitis, nausea and severe allergic reactions.

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